A guest post, written by Janine, who is a female sexual educator, based in the USA.

I want to tell you little bit of the history around my sexual experience – as a woman, I grew up in a very repressed environment where my family didn’t talk about sex and all issues about the body and femininity – and indeed bodily functions – were completely taboo.

This had a massive effect on my sexuality, as I’m sure you can imagine – leaving me in a place where I was completely unable to orgasm, and indeed for a period of time, experienced dyspareunia when my boyfriend tried to enter me.

Indeed it would be fair to say that my sexual relationships were an absolute disaster in every way, leaving me unsatisfied and frustrated, feeling shame and bewilderment, and exploring none of the sexuality which is my natural birthright as a woman.

I’m well aware that there are many problems that women have around the world about sexuality, including female genital mutilation, lack of opportunity to express sexuality, and indeed repression by the patriarchy at every level.

However, I want to make it clear that for me, as a woman in Western society, which is comparatively relaxed around sexuality and female expression of sexuality, this upbringing was a disaster, leaving me socially inhibited and massively ashamed of my sexual birthright.

Indeed, practitioners of therapy will talk about how wounds in “the lover quarter” can leave a woman unable to express both physical and emotional love, because she believes that somehow the something wrong with her ability to love, or that she is unlovable.

That was only true for me, nowhere did this express itself more clearly than in bed with a boyfriend – anorgasmia, sexual inhibition, and dyspareunia were indeed just the tip of the iceberg as far as my sexual problems were concerned.

So how did reparation come about? Bike first of all forming a conscious intention on my part to actually explore my sexuality and come to terms with those problems that I had – and not to stop until each everyone of them was resolved.

First of all I went through a program of becoming fully orgasmic through masturbation, which left me at least proud of the fact that (in isolation) I could reach orgasm, although penetration was still a nightmare.

Next, I engaged in a process of therapy at every level – active, interactive and counselling in an office – so that I could experience intimacy on every level, which I then backed up with deep Tantric work from a skilled Tantric practitioner, so that I could overcome fear of other people touching my body.

After several months of intensive therapy of this kind, I was finally confident about being touched by somebody else, and indeed eventually was actually able to be brought to orgasm by Tantric practice.

This really change my attitude to sex completely, and it was almost as though some kind of gate had been opened, a doorway perhaps my deeper sexuality which I was then determined to explore in every way possible.

And so I set out on a journey of discovery, where I went to bed with every available man – certainly being promiscuous – but certainly doing it safely – using condoms and ensuring that there was no danger of sexually transmitted infections (or at least, that the danger of sexual transmitted infections was minimized).

Now a lot of people have said to me that they thought I was a slut  – to which my response is simply this – I don’t care what you think, because actually it’s none of your damn business.

If you want to make judgments around my sexual behavior, then go away and make them somewhere where I can’t overhear them, because I have no interest in being judged by you.

One of things, as you may have gathered by now about exploring my sexuality in this powerful and highly personal way was that it actually taught me a lot about boundaries.

It empowered me to speak my mind and know when to stop the infringement of my boundaries, my sacred space, my personality, my very being, by anybody who didn’t have my best interests at heart.

So when anybody says to me something like they’ve learnt an enormous amount about themselves, and they’ve engaged in a massive period of personal growth through learning about their sex and sexuality, I completely understand what they say and what they mean.

And for this reason I highly recommend the exploration of sexuality to you to as a way to overcome fear of intimacy – now admittedly you may have to find a skilled practitioner and pay them, but what’s better?

A life lived in isolation and fear of sexuality, or an honest and open commitment to exploring these natural aspects of the human being?

I’m sure you know the answer to that question without me telling you!

In particular there were two extraordinarily helpful techniques which I used – the first was to explore my sexual fantasies, and the second, believe it or not was to explore the possibility of G spot orgasm with female ejaculation.

Now I know this is somewhat controversial area, and for most people who are exploring intimacy it will be a long way down the road personal development before they begin to be feel confident enough to actually have somebody stimulate their G spot and encourage them to learn how to female ejaculate.

But take it from me, as a way of shedding inhibitions and developing an open personality that welcomes the expression of sexuality in all its forms, these intense orgasms are very powerful and wonderful experiences.

They can leave you feeling not only highly charged with endorphins, but socially adept, relaxed, and confident on every level of your being, both sexually and socially.

Finally, to close this section here is a video from somebody who works on the Internet. She has a lot to say about all aspects of sexuality, but in particular, she brings a refreshing and rather intriguing viewpoint to the more outlandish – at least by any conventional standards – areas of human sexuality.